13 Things to Remember When Life Becomes DifficultApril 10, 2019
We all sometimes go through more difficult times. And we end up getting through. However, some people do it better than others. So, is there a secret? Most of the time, it’s a question of perception and attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life does not seem to be turning on the right side for us.
1. What is?
I like this quote from Buddha: It is your resistance to “what is” that causes your suffering.
Think about it for a minute. It means that our suffering only happens when we resist the way things are. If you can change something, take the necessary steps and change it! But if you can not change, then you have two choices: either you accept what is and you free yourself from negativity, or you make yourself miserable and obsessed with this situation.
There is always something we can change: our perception. Nothing is 100% negative. To help you better see a situation with detachment, take a moment in silence, alone with yourself and focus on your breathing for a few minutes until you feel a sense of inner peace settle down.
2. It is a problem only if you think it is a problem.
Most of time we are our worst enemy. Happiness is really a question of perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative, and you will only see the events and circumstances that will fit your vision. But if you think that nothing happens for nothing and that it is an opportunity to learn to act better, communicate better, or react better. Suddenly, it is no longer a problem. The positive and the negative are neutralized, nothing is “worse” or “better” when you get to balance things.
3. If you want things to change, you have to start by changing yourself.
Your outside world is the reflection of your inner world. Do you know people around you whose life is chaotic and stressful? And is it not largely because they feel chaotic inside? Probably yes. People tell themselves that when circumstances change, they will feel better and their lives will be different. But in reality, it is first by changing oneself that our circumstances change.
4. There is no failure, only a possibility of learning.
You must stop the word “failure” of your vocabulary. All those who have achieved great achievements have “failed” many times. One of the most famous inventors in history, Thomas Edison said: “I did not fail in trying to invent the light bulb, I only found in the first place 99 ways to not succeed.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn to do better next time.
5. If you do not get something you want, it just means that something better is coming.
It’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you take the time to observe and reflect on what has happened, you can very often conclude that ultimately it was probably a good thing that this situation did not happen as you would have liked. Have faith that everything is exactly the right way for you.
6. Enjoy the present moment. This moment will never come back.
There is always something precious about every moment. So, do not miss the moment! Soon, it will only be a memory. Even times that do not seem happy can be considered blessings in hindsight. Time flies; know how to appreciate the life unfolding before your eyes.
7. Let the desire go.
Most people live with an “attached” spirit, which means they cling to a desire, and when they do not get it, their emotions switch to negativity. Try to be detached. This means that when you want something, you will always be happy whether you get it or not. Tell yourself that you are getting this or something better yet. Your emotions will remain positive or at least neutral.
8. Be grateful for your fears.
Fear can be a great teacher and overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in elementary school, I was intimidated to speak in public (one of the three biggest fears in the general population). It’s still special now that not only do I have to communicate with people every day, but I give lectures to dozens and sometimes even hundreds of people! Overcoming fears is only a matter of practice. Fear is only an illusion. And it is optional…
9. Let yourself experience joy.
Believe it no, I know that too many people do not let themselves be pleased, and they do not even know how to be happy. Some people are so addicted to their problems and the chaos in them that they do not even know what they are without them.
Try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it is only for a little while, it is important to focus on the joy, not your difficulties. The only way to change a problematic situation is by having different thoughts from those who brought this situation. If frustration and resentment do not correct anything, try something else!
10. Do not compare yourself to others.
But if you absolutely want to do it, compare yourself with people who are worse off than you. For example, if you are unemployed, be grateful that you can live in a country that assists and supports people, because most people in the world live on less than $2 a day. Concentrate on what is going well and say that it could be worse. But then, ask yourself about the next step to take to steer you in the right direction.
11. You are not a victim.
Sometimes you have to remove yourself from your own path. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. Nobody does anything against you. You are often the creator of your own experience (yes, I know it is a fact that is sometimes hard to swallow).
In fact, you may not be responsible for everything that happens to you, but you are certainly responsible for what you will do next to interpret the events and move forward. Take personal responsibility to realize that you can get out of your difficult times. You must first begin by changing your thoughts and actions. Give up your victim mentality and become victorious. Victim to VICTORY!
12. Things can change (and they change).
“It will be okay too” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what: it changes! Nothing is permanent except death. So, get rid of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They will not be. But you need to take action to make things change. Nothing will happen as if by magic.
13. Everything is possible.
Miracles happen every day. Really! I could write an entire book about my personal experiences or about a lot of people I know who have seen extraordinary miraculous things happen in their lives, healing or meeting their soul mate that appears out of nowhere. Believe me, it happens all the time. You simply need to believe that anything is possible. Once you do, you have already won.
To you now: how do you overcome the obstacles in your life? Have you ever had a difficult experience that tested your limits? How did you get out?
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