Compare Yourself to Others: Self-Esteem and Social NetworksJune 1, 2018
We live in a society that constantly pushes us to compare ourselves to each other. Especially since social networks have taken a crazy place in our lives. Is this good or bad? There is never been a right answer; probably a little of both. But if you want to make yourself happier, you should stop comparing ourselves to others.
We are all different. We do not have the same story… So why compare us? It would be like comparing carrots and tomatoes … Useless … Still, we never stop to look at what is happening at the neighbour’s, to bring it back to our own life. But comparing yourself to others is really not the thing to do if you want to find your own balance of life, your own definition of happiness.
There are usually two different attitudes when comparing with other:
- You go to the other to find something you want to have, but you do not have, like a “fitter body”, a life full of travels, a love… In short, you imagine that this other has a perfect life, a dream life….You envy and jealous him/her, which leads you to think that your life is shabby. That’s how comparing yourself to others, you destroy your self-esteem…
- You will adopt the opposite attitude by seeking in the other something that it does not have contrary to you… Basically, you will try to prove to you that you are better than the other. It highlights a problem of self-esteem. Need to show that the other is “zero” to feel good, it’s not really a sign of a healthy and balanced attitude, in my humble opinion…Then, it’s not because the other do not meet your criteria that it is bad, shabby and so on…
We often meet these two attitudes on social networks, and mainly on Instagram. Between the person who keeps saying to you “oh but you’re lucky enough” (implied: no, but never will it happen to me!) As soon as you post a photo a little phew, or that you are experiencing something extraordinary and one that allows you to criticize everything you do.
This phenomenon of comparison has been strongly accentuated with the arrival of social networks in our lives. Indeed, it has become so much easier to go and to judge – especially to judge – what is happening in the life of the other since he/she spreads it with pictures on Instagram or Facebook.
And suddenly, you will follow the “adventures” of famous unknown, more or less “famous”. You cannot help but put your lives in parallel…and compare. Why him, and not you? Why he/she goes on a trip, has a dream body, a lover/an extra lover who shares his life, a job that pleases him and which in addition allows him to live comfortably…and not you? You devalue yourself completely against these images so perfect…
But you forget one thing: what you see on social networks is at best only a part of reality, a reality truncated from its bad sides. On social networks, and Instagram in particular, we tend to “send the dream” because we all, me first, this narcissistic little side that says “look like my life is perfect” …While in truth, not at all! You, like me, or the others, we all have our moments of good. You have to know how to accept them to better bounce back then. And it starts to stop comparing to others!
Leave others in their place, do not give them more importance than they really deserve. Concentrate on yourself and try to pinpoint what is bothering you in your life. And thus adopts a much more constructive approach.
What is the reason you are not satisfied with what you have or what you do? And especially how can you fix it? This is where your view of others will change: you will not compare yourself, but inspire you. It will not be “why them and not me?”, But “how do they do it? and how can I do? “Take inspiration from others, and no longer compare with them…
Because we are all different from others, our definition of happiness is not the same, and the path to reach it either. You have to keep in mind that what you see on social networks is not the “real life” in its totality. Especially since you will tend to project your own doubts and uncertainties on the other. This unhealthy comparison will only result in highlighting your flaws and weaknesses, and gradually destroy your esteem.
Who are you? Never be ashamed. And find your own way to your happiness!
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