Positive Education: Adopting a Positive Inner Attitude to Pass on to Your ChildrenOctober 3, 2018
Positive education is a new trend that is attracting more and more parents, wanting to help their children to flourish serenely, and not to reproduce old patterns that did not work for them.
Only the basis, and even the key to a positive education, is you, parent, and your inner attitude. Only by adopting and breathing yourself a positive state of being, you can pass it on to your children. And it will be a natural transmission, because directly related to your actions, your ways of managing a situation, to undertake a communication to your way of educating.
Indeed, the same situation can be managed very differently depending on your inner emotional state. For example, if your child comes home and announces bad news: arguing with a classmate, bad grade, teacher’s word, college time…Your first reaction will depend on your inner attitude: are you willing to welcome this situation calmly or do you immediately feel anger rising in you?
So calm or angry? We know it well, managing an angry conflict has never solved anything, but we often do not know how to do it, because we do not have the tools for it, or because we have not just never learned.
What is positive inner attitude?
Positive inner attitude is an individual disposition to be in an open and positive state of mind in all situations.
It is the ability to be serene, in tune with oneself and soothed, to such an extent that few things can get us out of our hinges, and that we have the ability to think clearly, and to handle conflict situations with kindness.
This does not mean that you live in a utopian world where conflicts and problems do not exist, but simply that you are ready to accept these unpleasant situations and manage them with serenity. To have a positive attitude is to be ready to see the advantageous side of any situation, or the glass half full if you prefer!
“There are two ways to see life, one as if nothing was a miracle, the other as if everything was miraculous. ” Albert Einstein
Only after a long day, for example, it is not always easy to keep calm, you will agree!
So, how to adopt this positive attitude?
Take a step back
This is the first step and it is necessary. We tend to forget ourselves when we become parents. So now is the time, find yourself. Take some time for yourself! Rediscover the connection with yourself, with the present moment. This is how you will be able to relativize and give less importance to things that do not deserve your anger, and do not feel guilty about leaving your children during these times. They are important, and they will be the first beneficiaries!
See the glass half full
In all situations, it is possible to find a positive aspect. Always! “Yin” and “Yang” … At first, it can be complicated but with training, it becomes more and more natural. For example, if your daughter had a bad grade…it’s an opportunity to talk to her about the problems she’s having, or if your son is in constant opposition to what you’re telling him, it’s normal he builds his independence!
Question your child
Before reacting instinctively and sometimes with little thought, try to calmly question your child. Give your child the benefit of the doubt! By letting it express itself, you will understand a multitude of things you could not have doubted. This may be your child’s feeling, their control, or their version of the facts about this conflict with their teacher. Your child will realize that their opinion counts for you.
Rest assured, you are not alone in experiencing difficulties on this subject, and even if you are well aware that you should start by calming yourself to communicate more serenely with your child, it is sometimes very difficult not to dive back and hold on in the long run. Fortunately, many people go through the same steps as you, find keys, set up tools, deliver their experiences, and are eager to help you! Some resources:
A tool / A reading / A challenge / A festival / An article / An agency / A blog
All these positive attitudes constitute a good basis for solving the problems encountered. They allow you to initiate a dialogue with your children without going into conflict (which can be particularly useful with a teenager) and to put all the chances on your side to build a quality relationship with your child, in a mutual trust. Indeed, it will be easier for you to talk about their problems knowing that you are able to treat them calmly. You must be for them a guide, an ally, and not a source of potential conflict!
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